I dont want to be perfect to everyone, I just want to be perfect in your eyes.

                         There comes a point in every ones life that they want to throw their hands in the air and say “what do you want from me?”  I’m so beyond that point. I have done anything and everything that someone asks of me and its still not good enough. Ive changed so many things about who I am to mold myself into what you see as perfect and It still isn’t enough. I give and give day after today and you take more and more. I know who I am now but I second guess myself. Who was I before? I’ve lost myself and as shocking as that is I let this person take more of me away everyday. The truth is as crazy as it may seem I cant be without this person. Ive tried and I never want to do It again I've never been so hurt over someone before. I love them with every fiber of my being and no matter how much they change who I am as long as I'm with them nothing else in this world matters to me. I often get told that I am changing for this person and get asked why and all I can say is I love them. This person was an exception to everything I used to not like in a person and somehow I fell and I fell hard. No matter what happens and no matter how much I change I know that one thing will stay the same. I'm going to love this person for the rest of my life and I'm never going to let them go no matter what people say. I lost them once and I'm not doing it again. So if change is what I must do to be with this person then change is what I will do to be who this person wants me to be. I'm not OK with changing for anyone but I cannot live without them. The one thing that I can say about this person is he has never lost my trust, he has never hurt me, and he has never cheated on me. This man makes everything in a relationship perfect and I'm not letting go of perfection. So tell me you don’t like him, tell me you don’t agree with the way things are going and tell me that I should leave him and be on my own. I will listen to your comments and questions and concerns but at the end of the day my opinion is the only one that matters. And my opinion is hes the only person in this world for me and I'm never letting him go no matter what.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Image
Ok so I started writing this on my mom's birthday but couldn't bring myself to finish it so finally here it is!!! Happy Birthday Mommy Today is your 43rd birthday. I thought it'd be easier by now. But I think of your pretty face, And in my tears I drown. I'm trying to fight through the pain, The heartache and the fears. Remembering the good times you had, In your brief 36 years. Every time I'd ask "Mom, what do I get you this year?" "Write me a poem." You'd say, And you always held it dear. I always think of what it'd be like If you were with us today. But rather then a celebration, This day only brings dismay. You meant the world to me. I never told you enough. I miss you more then anything. Even more when times get tough. There are so many things I want to say. So many things I wanted you to know. I simply wish I would have told you Before it was your time to go. I'm trying to smile, I'm trying to
Read more

The real happy endings come after a story with a lot of ups and downs

She knows strength because you've made her weak. She wants so much more and she's willing to do anything to get it. But she also knows so much pain. And she can't move on. Every move, every moment, every day, every interaction. It's staring her in the face and the pain is lingering in her heart. She tries to fix it any and every way she can. And she can forgive all she wants to but more than anything she wants to forget. But how. She tries so hard everyday to make it better. She knows her many faults and she admits them and she understands. Moving on isn't easy. Forgetting is impossible. It's time to reset. We deserve so much more. For ourselves and for each other. We need to remember that it's not impossible to lose each other. To truly care and fight for each other. Not with each other. We're carrying such a dark feeling around everyday because we thought we were untouchable. We don't love each other anymore. We just stay because we don't know
Read more

Because love shouldn't hurt

Image
           I don't even know where to begin. I want to tell you everything but I don't know where to start. Guess I should start by telling you that nothing is what it seems. It hasn't been for a long time now. I just didn't know how to tell you. If you have someone in your life that suddenly stops reaching out first, cancels on plans, or is just all around not themselves, I urge you to reach out. Sometimes someone is dying to tell you but they don't want to admit to themselves because they're ashamed or in denial about what they're going through So here we go.      I am a domestic violence survivor.      I hate saying that. I hate typing it. Hell I hate to think of myself as a survivor.  The definition of survivor is "a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died." It takes me a while to wrap my head around this. I lost a very dear friend of mine to domestic violence. And while I was tryi
Read more