Lyn-Z's Ashes

                          There comes a point in every ones life that they want to throw their hands in the air and say “what do you want from me?”   I’m so beyond that point. I have done anything and everything that someone asks of me and its still not good enough. Ive changed so many things about who I am to mold myself into what you see as perfect and It still isn’t enough. I give and give day after today and you take more and more. I know who I am now but I second guess myself. Who was I before? I’ve lost myself and as shocking as that is I let this person take more of me away everyday. The truth is as crazy as it may seem I cant be without this person. Ive tried and I never want to do It again I've never been so hurt over someone before. I love them with every fiber of my being and no matter how much they change who I am as long as I'm with them nothing else in this world matters to me. I often get told that I am changing for this person and get asked why and all I can sa

   Hello all, whoever you may be!! So the reason that I started this blog was to let go of my inter most thoughts and concerns that I hold on to too tightly thinking that it would be easier to reveal my troubles and sorrows to strangers rather then people I know. It was an easy fix so it would seem. There were only two people who I knew that had known about my blog and those two I trusted dearly and knew that no judgement would be passed. As it seems, nothing in this life I lead is private which is why I have decided to just go ahead and let it out to everyone. Later on today when I get off work I will be posting this blog to facebook. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that but if people want to judge me then they can deal with the consequences. Life is about taking chances and that is what I'm doing. It could turn bad or good but everything has an outcome.  So anyways. Today is a the start of the work week and so far it has been a good day. More eventful then my days usua

Well hello all!!! I know I was supposed to post another blog yesterday and I legitimately was going to. As I started to post that there blog I realized that I had too much to say for just one blog. It was at that point that I had decided to write a book. Im not going to give out the details of the book because then it would simply be pointless to write it. But I can ensure one thing the book will contain things that are very true and very real. At the same time they are also very different from what you normally read and at one point its going to get a little heartbreaking. Well for the person writing it its going to be extremely heart breaking. But in the past I have wrote poems and I havent been able to write in a few years. It had to take me getting my heart broken again for the block to be released. Even so I still havent been able to write a poem but a book will come out of this heartbreak. Part of me is ready for the book to be done and over with because the good parts of the boo

Well hello my fellow Internet lovers. So I know that i have no readers for this but at this point I'm not concerned. i need to write in order to keep it together so that is what i am going to do!!! i guess i should start off by telling you about myself (which i hate doing). So anyways her it goes. i am 24 years old i was born in Tulsa OK where i still reside. i went to school in Catoosa and pretty much grew up there. i have a lot of memories in that small town of mine and i love it but i will never live there again. my mom passed away when i was 17 and after that my mom #2 took care of me and she passed when i was 19. my moms said they were never gay but to any on looker it appeared to be so but i don't care two mommies are better then one. no one really knows this but my first mom killed herself by over dose. my second mom passed away of bone cancer. its been really hard without them but i have been taught many things by each of them that i will never forget. we will get m