First love never dies
Hello everyone! First off I need to send a shout out to all my lovely readers! We have now reached over 1600 views which I find odd since I am not all that interesting! But thank you anyways!!!
Moving onward! Not a whole hell of a lot is going on aside from the blissful thing life hands us called love! Whitlee is doing fantastic in school and is getting better and better at life each day. Its a wonderful thing watching her mind grow. My best friend in the entire world Doll Face Kitty Pants is happier then I have seen her in a long time and its fantastic. I love that girl to death.
The job search is really going no where and its starting to eat at me more and more everyday. I actually enjoy the cooking and cleaning for the family everyday though which is shocking. I get to spend more time with the kiddos and friends and family so I am trying to stay positive but its becoming more and more difficult. I got approved for my unemployment so I have money coming in but at the end of the day i still feel utterly useless and its frustrating. I look everyday and get interviews that end up going no where. It just pushes me to try harder and be better at whatever it is that I am trying to do but still with no results you get a bit discouraged.
In better news, I am completely and utterly head over heels in love (again!) with my first love. The more I think about it and the more I look at the past between us, yes we were young, but we really did love each other. It hurt more then anything to lose him in the past and I see why now. He is the sweetest most caring person that I have ever had the pleasure of calling my boyfriend. Others have thought that buying me stuff has shown their love enough which is not the case at all. All I have to do is look into his eyes and know with every fiber of my being that when he tells me he loves me he means it with everything in him. When he says forever, I actually believe him. Its all so weird for me because as you all know after being hurt all too often I hid the real me from everyone and became someone else. He wants the things that the real me has dreamed of for as long as I can remember.
We spend just about every chance we get together and seeing him leave is the hardest thing to endure. I find myself thinking about forever with him and get scared to death. Not because I am scared to be with one man forever, but because I am so terrified that I am going to lose him. All I have ever seen in my life is people getting divorced all too easily. Why doesn't anyone take marriage seriously anymore? If you are upset or there is an issue imma need you to talk about it and work it out. There is no falling apart or falling out of love or cheating or whatever the case maybe. You need to work on your marriage because once upon a time that person that you married was all you ever wanted. Everyone is doing it for all the wrong reasons and I find it unacceptable. I will not get married until I know 100% without a doubt that this is the person that God wanted me to be with. There is no divorce in my book.
I guess this will be all for now. I'm sure everyone is sick to death of hearing me blabber about my boyfriend all day! Have a good day everyone and live well and happy!
Moving onward! Not a whole hell of a lot is going on aside from the blissful thing life hands us called love! Whitlee is doing fantastic in school and is getting better and better at life each day. Its a wonderful thing watching her mind grow. My best friend in the entire world Doll Face Kitty Pants is happier then I have seen her in a long time and its fantastic. I love that girl to death.
The job search is really going no where and its starting to eat at me more and more everyday. I actually enjoy the cooking and cleaning for the family everyday though which is shocking. I get to spend more time with the kiddos and friends and family so I am trying to stay positive but its becoming more and more difficult. I got approved for my unemployment so I have money coming in but at the end of the day i still feel utterly useless and its frustrating. I look everyday and get interviews that end up going no where. It just pushes me to try harder and be better at whatever it is that I am trying to do but still with no results you get a bit discouraged.
In better news, I am completely and utterly head over heels in love (again!) with my first love. The more I think about it and the more I look at the past between us, yes we were young, but we really did love each other. It hurt more then anything to lose him in the past and I see why now. He is the sweetest most caring person that I have ever had the pleasure of calling my boyfriend. Others have thought that buying me stuff has shown their love enough which is not the case at all. All I have to do is look into his eyes and know with every fiber of my being that when he tells me he loves me he means it with everything in him. When he says forever, I actually believe him. Its all so weird for me because as you all know after being hurt all too often I hid the real me from everyone and became someone else. He wants the things that the real me has dreamed of for as long as I can remember.
We spend just about every chance we get together and seeing him leave is the hardest thing to endure. I find myself thinking about forever with him and get scared to death. Not because I am scared to be with one man forever, but because I am so terrified that I am going to lose him. All I have ever seen in my life is people getting divorced all too easily. Why doesn't anyone take marriage seriously anymore? If you are upset or there is an issue imma need you to talk about it and work it out. There is no falling apart or falling out of love or cheating or whatever the case maybe. You need to work on your marriage because once upon a time that person that you married was all you ever wanted. Everyone is doing it for all the wrong reasons and I find it unacceptable. I will not get married until I know 100% without a doubt that this is the person that God wanted me to be with. There is no divorce in my book.
I guess this will be all for now. I'm sure everyone is sick to death of hearing me blabber about my boyfriend all day! Have a good day everyone and live well and happy!
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