Lyn-Z's Ashes

                                   Before she lets you in she needs to let you know. She needs you to know that she's broken. She needs you to know that she doesn't know when or if ever she will heal. She needs you to know that all she's known is hurt. She needs you to know that she's convinced herself that she doesn't deserve someone like you. She needs you to know that she needs constant reassurance. She needs you to know that she will always ask if you're sure. She needs you to know that all she's known is loss. She needs you to know that she is always expecting that loss. She needs you to know that she's constantly waiting for you to leave. She needs you to know that she's praying you never will. She needs you to know that she has a huge heart. She needs you to know that all anyone has ever done is break it. She needs you to know that the entire month of May is a nightmare for her. She needs you to know that more than anything, s

           I don't even know where to begin. I want to tell you everything but I don't know where to start. Guess I should start by telling you that nothing is what it seems. It hasn't been for a long time now. I just didn't know how to tell you. If you have someone in your life that suddenly stops reaching out first, cancels on plans, or is just all around not themselves, I urge you to reach out. Sometimes someone is dying to tell you but they don't want to admit to themselves because they're ashamed or in denial about what they're going through So here we go.      I am a domestic violence survivor.      I hate saying that. I hate typing it. Hell I hate to think of myself as a survivor.  The definition of survivor is "a person who survives, especially a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died." It takes me a while to wrap my head around this. I lost a very dear friend of mine to domestic violence. And while I was tryi