Right now, I'd die to not remember....
I keep replaying things over and over in my head. It's like a movie I've watched a million times and have the script memorized. But it's foreign to me now. Like deja vu. I know it happened, but its like when? I've worn these scars before. Several times. 15 years ago. 12 years ago. 10 years ago. And today. I guess I like to make myself suffer, seems fitting considering my history. I let her down. I let you down. I let them down. They say that scars tell a story. The only thing mine say is that I'm a coward. Every night, I pray. Prayed for you. Prayed for family. Prayed for your happiness and our marriage. Now I only pray for my own death. Pray that semi doesn't see me and gets in my lane too quickly and takes me out. Pray that I take this curb too fast and just fly off the edge. Pray that something ends this pain. Hard to pray for anything else when you've covered yourself in marks of the devil. "Time" they'll say. That's what they