The most painful goodbyes are the ones that were never said.
I don't even know where to begin to start on this blog. We're a mere 30 minutes into the day and my mind is already numb and blank. The only way I'll find myself in a peaceful slumber tonight is with the assistance of a sleep aide. I know that as soon as my head hits the pillow and my eyes close, the darkness will start and May 19th 2005 at 3:06 am will play over in my head in the form of a horrible nightmare. So, without rhyme or reason or evening a starting point, I begin the story of my grief that has no ending. I'm not sure if its the fact that I've been busy or concerned with other things in my life, or the fact that maybe I'm actually happy, but today hasn't much consumed my mind like it usually does this time of year. The only time I notice is when I look at a calendar. The unexplained outbursts of anger are still there, but less then often. But as soon as the clock struck midnight, I found myself quiet and stone faced. I look down at the clock an